Obligation is a big headed guy who is red in the face, hairless, bad skinned,
fat armed, necked and shouldered, sitting in a deli, always leaning forward, looking over your head.
Nothing fun will make him happy like TV or an unexpected conversation about existence.
He'll eat a turkey sandwich from a bodega or takeout from a Thai restaurant,
but you have to attack him early in the morning with a heavy duty fishing net and a rusty metal bar.
He'll come back to the same street corner every week day and he'll only speak Russian and wear silver rings and chew on a toothpick; so forget about reasoning with him.
When you think about it existentially, as if the physical world weren't shaped the way it is, as if highways didn't mean so much to us, he's really a cobra.
He's your cobra, and you are the cobra because you own it. You are an obligatory cobra who made a comparison early in life. Eventually the perfidious comparison tapered into a cobra tail. It's always dragging on the floor near you. You are operating an erect cobra head, and life's soundtrack is a dance beat with sharp high-hatting.
You see a feeble cobra tail escape around corners and into sewer drains. You are scared when you're high. How long could your body possibly be. There is no possible control and you feel dirty from its dragging.
You are antsy to be bitten. You need to be bitten because you are something you can't tell you are without experiencing a riveting attack.
You go to the pet store with a friend and ask if you could have a snake, preferably a cobra, bite you.
They say, 'yes. come to the back.'
'Fuck. O.K. It's happening.'
'Here. Here's a cobra. We don't even keep him caged. Just lean you forearm near his little bed there.'
'Fuck. O.K. It's happening. You did this to yourself.'
Monday, June 23, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
The Myth of Fan Death
Funny thing. In Korea there is a belief that if you leave an electric fan on in an enclosed room it sucks the oxygen out of the room and kills you. Medical professionals believe this. Now I'm not saying the Korean people are any stupider than Americans, but they hold onto these trivial beliefs. The US Beef thing is a huge deal here. Not sure if anyone has noticed state side but in Seoul there were violent protests. Everyone hates the Korean Gov't for lifting a 2003 ban on US beef because of the mad cow scare. It's a real touchy subject. Fear spreads like wildfire. Years earlier there was a chicken scare because of the Avian flu I think. Chickens disappeared from the supermarkets. But dog is a delicacy here. You only see small dogs for pets.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Dr. Diamond Pt. 1
The dentist offices of Dr. Diamond and Dr. Shaw, located in an affluent area of suburban New York are clean and cold. The inner corridors beyond the reception smells of rubber gloves and sanitizer. Behind the counter the receptionist paints her nails and sips coffee. Only her hands, brushing each other delicately can be seen from the low frosted glass panel. The office is such that you have to bend down and talk to the space between the glass and the counter upon entering. Once seated, the patients listen to the assistants with two-year degrees taking standing calls from behind the foggy glass. They shuffle the numerous magazines, getting up for another or trading some. Golf Today, Beautiful Skin, Washington Dump, East Hamptons Travel, Time for Kids. They were all scattered on the little end tables next to big fake plants. The philosophy was too keep a broad spectrum of magazine subscriptions and a working coffee maker in the waiting area at all times, and they would come. The location helped of course.
The names Dr. Diamond and Dr. Shaw are plastered outside on the third floor of the office building. The building is white stone with black mirrored windows. The sign is highly visible from the Starbucks and the main stretch of downtown traffic . The suburban New York hamlet boasts some of the priciest real estate the country has to offer. The neighborhoods date back to the 1800s. Contemporary but historical. Near the train. Circled with SUVs. An entire immigrant population sustained on lawn care, house upkeep, and surrogate parenthood.
Susan Clancy was new to the neighborhood. She was single with a job as a Nurse Practitioner and renting a decent little apartment above a vitamin and supplements shop. Without insurance yet, or a trip to the dentist in years Susan booked an appointment with Dr. Diamond on the advice of her friend; Mary Goldstien, who has been helping her adjust. Your gonna love him Mary explained as a matter of fact.
So Mary waited and read 3 articles from Beautiful Skin before she was called into the labyrinth of halls and examination rooms. "Dr. Diamond will be with you in a moment" the assistant informed her after setting her up in the chair.
Dr. Diamond ushered himself in, made a brief introduction and a bad joke. He spent another moment bragging about someone he knew that "maybe you know too?" He showered her friend Mary Goldstien with adornment. "Such a delight that woman, if there was anyone that...you know would...Well...It would be her." He explained. "Ok lets get started!" He clapped his hands.
"My my, Miss Clancy you have the sweetest eyes. Has anyone ever told you that?"
"Not in a long time, Dr. Diamond." Susan squirmed in the reclined dentists chair, blinded by the monstrous light that hung over her face.
"Do I make you uncomfortable Miss Clancy?" Dr. Diamond spoke softly through his surgeons mask, delicately preparing a small table with various gleaming instruments.
"No, no Dr. Diamond, Its just very cold in here." Susan bit her lip.
Dr. Diamond put on latex gloves. The smell of the gloves sickened Susan. She always hated the Dentist. He picked up the scraping utensil and the mirror.
"Some people say I make them uncomfortable. My partner complains that it's bad for business. Open up, let's have a look."
Dr. Diamond made small noises once he got to look inside Susan's mouth. She even thought she heard him whisper 'yes, yes' very faintly behind his mask. Susan was sure that she hated him. She wondered how her friend Mary could ever recommend him.
"Caa uu turr ouu uh ahh?"
"Im sorry, what was that Susan?" Dr. Diamond took the utensils out of her mouth.
"I said could you turn down the air? It really is freezing in here."
"Oh look at that, you have goose-bumbs." Dr. Diamond smiled behind his mask, pinching his eyes. "Are you sure it isn't me?"
"I think it's cold is all."
"Yes, it is. I like it that way. I'm sorry, I'll be right back." He winked at her and left the room.
Susan watched Dr. Diamond slip around the corner into the hall. She sighed in disgust, "Fucking Mary," she thought. Susan felt the cold air blast die down and felt a little better. She started to remember playing Yahtzee with her mother as a child when the doctor returned.
"Hows that?" Dr. Diamond exclaimed, shutting the door behind him. He was holding a cylinder tank with an oxygen mask attached to it.
"What the is that!?" Susan asked, frightened.
"Oh this is just some good old laughing gas, want some? Dr. Diamond was cheerful, like he just walked in with a six-pack.
"No, I don't. Can we finish up here? This is just a check up." Susan stopped being cordial. This was the last time she was coming here.
Dr. Diamond smiled again. "I'm sorry, Susan. Susan? You're going to have to put this mask on.
"Excuse me! I will not."
Dr. Diamond maneuvered himself in front of Susan and grabbed her wrist. "There was a slight fracture in one of your molars, and I'm going to have to put you under, so you don't feel any pain."
"Get your hands..."
"Ssshhhh, just breathe it in Susan." Dr. Diamond had the muzzle around her mouth and turned the valve on the tank three times. The tank began hissing, Susan's eyes became distant. The last thing she saw was the fading smile of Dr. Diamond.
Monday, June 2, 2008
BEHOLD...THE GOLDEN BEAR!
Explain the Jaguar Uprising mission, How it came to be, and why Zachary German and the likes have been targeted.
First of all! Hello, internet! I am THE GOLDEN BEAR! (...thegoldenbear!)
The Jaguar Uprising is the most talented and dynamic group of writer-athletes the world has ever seen. The Jaguar Uprising is coming for the belts. We are serious, we are sincere. Our initial aspirations are small: Infiltrate online literary community and exploit it. Zachary German is just a small salmon, The Golden Bear's gonna gobble him up in no time. The Jaguar Uprising's got bigger fish to fry. Our plan is simple. It starts with Tao Lin. From Tao Lin, Dean Koontz. From Dean Koontz, the world.
But actually, if I'm being completely honest (and I am being completely honest because I am the Captain of Candor, the Sultan of Sincerity, and the General of Genuineness), I'd say the primary mission of the Jaguar Uprising is making money.
A lot of time has been spent mocking the Bear Parade and it's writers. The Bore Parade website is one example of this. Are online feuds a legitimate hobby?
The Golden Bear doesn't really "understand" this "question", but will try his "Golden" "best" to give you a "Golden" "answer".
Look, The Golden Bear is an entertainer. The Golden Bear is a writer-athlete. The Golden Bear loves his fans. The Golden Bear has a responsibility to those fans. By talking his Golden shit, The Golden Bear's is just trying his best to give his fans what they want, while keeping the rest of these bear parading mother-fuckers on their toes.
For Golden example, The Golden Bear read on your blog that "Eat When You Feel Sad" is "funny". What? That shit is not funny. Baconator's are funny. P.O.D. is funny. Feeling fucking great is funny. "Eat When You Feel Sad" is depressing and dumb.
My final "Golden" "answer" to your "Golden" "question": Online shit talking is most certainly a legitimate hobby, because it creates controversy and Kontroversy Kreates Kash™.
Are you offended by vegans?
Yes.
Once your Kash and been accumulated and your Golden kingdom lay claimed, what then will you do?
I don't really know. Me, and The American Mystic Man; Two Tears Boye have a couple of screenplays in the works, either for major motion picture events or a syndicated television series.
The Golden Bear will probably use the money to buy a professional wrestling ring and me and the rest of the guys from the Uprising will learn how to wrestle for real. I can finally practice my finishing move, "The Hibernator" which is a modified frog-splash from the top rope.
Your talk of global domination sounds much like dictators of the past, who have failed. Do you think your brand of domination will be effective? Will the Jaguar Uprising adequately fill the creative void that would ensue?
Well, the thing about the Jaguar Uprising is, and I think I may have misrepresented the uprising earlier in my haste to be witty and interesting; it's not about really about one person, one group, or one set of ideologies. The Jaguar Uprising is about taking literature back to the common man. Tao Lin, Zachary German, and a lot of the other bear paraders are writing from a certain niche, for a certain niche. A hyper-aware set of self-conscious, hip, vegan, New Yorkers. The Golden Bear likes to read books, The Golden Bear likes to write. The Golden Bear does not identify as a hyper-aware self-conscious hip vegan New Yorker. The Golden Bear identifies as a Golden Bear. T.T.B. identifies as an American Mystic Man. Daryl identifies as both a blacksmith and the greatest right-fielder of all time. We want to be accessible to everyone, mystic men, blacksmiths, right fielders, and bears.
Sorry, that's really long, but to give you the short answer, no, we can't fail because the Jaguar Uprising represents everyone, and everyone can't be wrong.
Keeping 'Kash' in mind, what golden beer will sponsor the golden bear?
Koch's Golden Anniversary beer from High Falls Brewing Company in Rochester, New York. It is a Golden can that is wearing a red ribbon and a gold medal.
If there were two things the American people needed to know, what would they be?
Hmmm, that's a good question. Since The Golden Bear is the Captain of Candor, the first thing the American people need to know is that it is important to always be honest, in everything. And the second thing is to wear sunscreen.
Is the Jaguar Uprising a collectivist society or is there specifically one all-star they care to promote?
Wow, another good question, you are really working hard here. I think in principle we are a collectivist society as I mentioned earlier, but if I had to pick a leader or all-star, I'd have to say it's The Industry, Mike Bushnell. That guy is so dedicated to his work and our cause and I'd like nothing more in life than to see him score a 15 book deal with some publishing company. We recently went to New York City for Tao Lin's launch party, and I heard people say that I, The Golden Bear, was the leader of the Uprising. While I'm flattered, this is not the case. The Jaguar Uprising rises and falls on The Industry's whim, win or lose, he decides.
Is turning the masses on to professional wrestling a main goal for the Jaguar Uprising?
Ok, Mr. Mike of the Farside, you've been on a roll, but The Golden Bear is disappointed with this question. You need to do some research. The Masses ARE turned on to professional wrestling. World Wrestling Entertainment, the largest professional wrestling promotion in the history of the world, rakes in about 350 million dollars in revenue per year. They broadcast 7,000 hours of original programming in over 100 international markets. The official website, WWE.com gets over 250 million page views a month. I'd like to see Tao Lin do that.
A better question would have been, "is turning the literary community on to professional wrestling a goal of the Jaguar Uprising". The answer to that question would be yes, yes it is.
What hook of the wrestling entertainment phantasmo should excite the literary community? Believing of course the WWE staff writers will be spared, how will they fit in with Regime?
The writers will not be spared. They are terrible. The WWE product is terrible. The writers will be first to go. We will be the writers. You can be a writer. The Golden Bear will be a writer. The talent is in the wrestlers themselves and the characters they create. They are storytellers. Some of them are very good at it. You should all check out this blog post, which has a good example of "promos" which are interviews wrestlers give to promote themselves and their characters. In the first one, notice the similarities with The Golden Bear.
I feel I'm getting off target. I want to know more about the hierarchy of the Jaguar Uprising. Who executes what?
Ummm. Hierarchy? We don't really have a hierarchy, we just all sort of do our own thing. Like I said, The Industry is probably the most dedicated, in the sense that he regularly produces literature. Daryl is the most dedicated in terms of randomly posting long and incoherent shit on other people's comment boards. TTB is so mystic it's hard to tell what he's up to. He also owes Bear Parade ZZZZZ ZZZ ZZZZZZ, which we are still waiting on. Basically, we need more people for the uprising. If you are reading this and you write, or draw, or make movies, e-mail your shit to elkjaguar@gmail.com. If it is good we will post it. If you are reading this and you feel as though you have a pro-wrester in your heart, find a macbook and record a promo. It will be hilarious, I promise.
What is the most significant piece of literature the Uprising has produced as a whole, is it the satire and plagiarism of "Drink and You'll Feel Fucking Great?" Or something else we should look at?
The Golden Bear likes "Drink And You'll Feel Fucking Great" because The Golden Bear wrote it. I also don't think it's plagiarism, because I don't believe in plagiarism. I think the Gospel of Tom Cruise is very good. TTB has a story that is not on the internet, but it is very good. A lot of what we write we haven't posted yet. I have a story about the Chris Benoit murder-suicides that we haven't done anything with. "Tidal" is forthcoming from Mike Bushnell. So really, just stay tuned good stuff will be coming. The Jaguar Uprising may be goofy and somewhat lazy, but we have talent, and we are coming for the belts.
I will ask one more question to conclude this interview. First I want to thank you for your candor and ask to be spared as well during this siege. Who is the greatest wrestler of all time?
Holy fucking shit Mike from farside. You're not messing around, huh? You just went straight for the jugular. I don't know if I can answer this question. How would I pick. Technical skill? In-ring ability? Mic-skills? Charisma? Athleticism? General craziness? How bout I give you a list?
In no particular order:
'The Nature Boy' Ric Flair, 'The American Dream' Dusty Rhoads, Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior, 'The Million Dollar Man' Ted Debiase, Santino Marella, Bret 'The Hitman' Hart, The Undertaker, Jake 'The Snake' Roberts, 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin, The Rock, Curry Man, Kurt Angle, 'The Heartbreak Kid' Shawn Michaels, Vince McMahon, Mick Foley, Sabu, Kane, Murdoch, Jim Morrison 'the shaman of sexy', DX, NwO, The Ministry, The Corporation, The Corporate Ministry, Christian Cage, Edge, Itchweed, Memphis, Jerry 'The King' Lawler, Sting (kinda), The Nation of Domination, JBL, John Cena, Triple H, Umaga, William Regal, Tom Cruise, Tatanka, Doink, Hornswaggle, Chris Benoit, Ken Kennedy, Carlito (kinda), Jim 'the anvil' Niedhart, Ken Shamrock, The Big Bossman, Latino Heeeat, Owen Hart, D'lo Brown, Gangrel, Meat, Al Snow, The Goodfather, The Godfather, Savio Vega, Val Venis, Gillberg, Bob Holly, Steve Blackman, George 'the animal' Steele, Mosh and Thrasher, The Legion of Doom, Mantaur, 'rowdy' Roddy Piper, Dean Malenko, Too Sexy and Too Hot, Curt Hennig, Macho Man, Disco Inferno, Booker T, La Parka, 'the loose cannon' Brian Pillman, Papa Shango, The Shockmaster, Dino Bravo, Honky Tonk Man, I.R.S., 'nature boy' Buddy Rogers, Dynamite Kid, King Kong Bundy, Killer Kowalski, Sycho Sid, Ax and Smash, Balls Mahoney, the Von Erichs, Mike Tyson, Bobby 'the brain' Hennan, Taz, 'cowboy' bob orton, Awesome Kong, Super Crazy, Festus, Hillbilly Jim, Bam Bam Bigelow
Thanks for the interview Mike from Farside. I love you.
-The Golden Bear!
(...thegoldenbear!)
First of all! Hello, internet! I am THE GOLDEN BEAR! (...thegoldenbear!)
The Jaguar Uprising is the most talented and dynamic group of writer-athletes the world has ever seen. The Jaguar Uprising is coming for the belts. We are serious, we are sincere. Our initial aspirations are small: Infiltrate online literary community and exploit it. Zachary German is just a small salmon, The Golden Bear's gonna gobble him up in no time. The Jaguar Uprising's got bigger fish to fry. Our plan is simple. It starts with Tao Lin. From Tao Lin, Dean Koontz. From Dean Koontz, the world.
But actually, if I'm being completely honest (and I am being completely honest because I am the Captain of Candor, the Sultan of Sincerity, and the General of Genuineness), I'd say the primary mission of the Jaguar Uprising is making money.
A lot of time has been spent mocking the Bear Parade and it's writers. The Bore Parade website is one example of this. Are online feuds a legitimate hobby?
The Golden Bear doesn't really "understand" this "question", but will try his "Golden" "best" to give you a "Golden" "answer".
Look, The Golden Bear is an entertainer. The Golden Bear is a writer-athlete. The Golden Bear loves his fans. The Golden Bear has a responsibility to those fans. By talking his Golden shit, The Golden Bear's is just trying his best to give his fans what they want, while keeping the rest of these bear parading mother-fuckers on their toes.
For Golden example, The Golden Bear read on your blog that "Eat When You Feel Sad" is "funny". What? That shit is not funny. Baconator's are funny. P.O.D. is funny. Feeling fucking great is funny. "Eat When You Feel Sad" is depressing and dumb.
My final "Golden" "answer" to your "Golden" "question": Online shit talking is most certainly a legitimate hobby, because it creates controversy and Kontroversy Kreates Kash™.
Are you offended by vegans?
Yes.
Once your Kash and been accumulated and your Golden kingdom lay claimed, what then will you do?
I don't really know. Me, and The American Mystic Man; Two Tears Boye have a couple of screenplays in the works, either for major motion picture events or a syndicated television series.
The Golden Bear will probably use the money to buy a professional wrestling ring and me and the rest of the guys from the Uprising will learn how to wrestle for real. I can finally practice my finishing move, "The Hibernator" which is a modified frog-splash from the top rope.
Your talk of global domination sounds much like dictators of the past, who have failed. Do you think your brand of domination will be effective? Will the Jaguar Uprising adequately fill the creative void that would ensue?
Well, the thing about the Jaguar Uprising is, and I think I may have misrepresented the uprising earlier in my haste to be witty and interesting; it's not about really about one person, one group, or one set of ideologies. The Jaguar Uprising is about taking literature back to the common man. Tao Lin, Zachary German, and a lot of the other bear paraders are writing from a certain niche, for a certain niche. A hyper-aware set of self-conscious, hip, vegan, New Yorkers. The Golden Bear likes to read books, The Golden Bear likes to write. The Golden Bear does not identify as a hyper-aware self-conscious hip vegan New Yorker. The Golden Bear identifies as a Golden Bear. T.T.B. identifies as an American Mystic Man. Daryl identifies as both a blacksmith and the greatest right-fielder of all time. We want to be accessible to everyone, mystic men, blacksmiths, right fielders, and bears.
Sorry, that's really long, but to give you the short answer, no, we can't fail because the Jaguar Uprising represents everyone, and everyone can't be wrong.
Keeping 'Kash' in mind, what golden beer will sponsor the golden bear?
Koch's Golden Anniversary beer from High Falls Brewing Company in Rochester, New York. It is a Golden can that is wearing a red ribbon and a gold medal.
If there were two things the American people needed to know, what would they be?
Hmmm, that's a good question. Since The Golden Bear is the Captain of Candor, the first thing the American people need to know is that it is important to always be honest, in everything. And the second thing is to wear sunscreen.
Is the Jaguar Uprising a collectivist society or is there specifically one all-star they care to promote?
Wow, another good question, you are really working hard here. I think in principle we are a collectivist society as I mentioned earlier, but if I had to pick a leader or all-star, I'd have to say it's The Industry, Mike Bushnell. That guy is so dedicated to his work and our cause and I'd like nothing more in life than to see him score a 15 book deal with some publishing company. We recently went to New York City for Tao Lin's launch party, and I heard people say that I, The Golden Bear, was the leader of the Uprising. While I'm flattered, this is not the case. The Jaguar Uprising rises and falls on The Industry's whim, win or lose, he decides.
Is turning the masses on to professional wrestling a main goal for the Jaguar Uprising?
Ok, Mr. Mike of the Farside, you've been on a roll, but The Golden Bear is disappointed with this question. You need to do some research. The Masses ARE turned on to professional wrestling. World Wrestling Entertainment, the largest professional wrestling promotion in the history of the world, rakes in about 350 million dollars in revenue per year. They broadcast 7,000 hours of original programming in over 100 international markets. The official website, WWE.com gets over 250 million page views a month. I'd like to see Tao Lin do that.
A better question would have been, "is turning the literary community on to professional wrestling a goal of the Jaguar Uprising". The answer to that question would be yes, yes it is.
What hook of the wrestling entertainment phantasmo should excite the literary community? Believing of course the WWE staff writers will be spared, how will they fit in with Regime?
The writers will not be spared. They are terrible. The WWE product is terrible. The writers will be first to go. We will be the writers. You can be a writer. The Golden Bear will be a writer. The talent is in the wrestlers themselves and the characters they create. They are storytellers. Some of them are very good at it. You should all check out this blog post, which has a good example of "promos" which are interviews wrestlers give to promote themselves and their characters. In the first one, notice the similarities with The Golden Bear.
I feel I'm getting off target. I want to know more about the hierarchy of the Jaguar Uprising. Who executes what?
Ummm. Hierarchy? We don't really have a hierarchy, we just all sort of do our own thing. Like I said, The Industry is probably the most dedicated, in the sense that he regularly produces literature. Daryl is the most dedicated in terms of randomly posting long and incoherent shit on other people's comment boards. TTB is so mystic it's hard to tell what he's up to. He also owes Bear Parade ZZZZZ ZZZ ZZZZZZ, which we are still waiting on. Basically, we need more people for the uprising. If you are reading this and you write, or draw, or make movies, e-mail your shit to elkjaguar@gmail.com. If it is good we will post it. If you are reading this and you feel as though you have a pro-wrester in your heart, find a macbook and record a promo. It will be hilarious, I promise.
What is the most significant piece of literature the Uprising has produced as a whole, is it the satire and plagiarism of "Drink and You'll Feel Fucking Great?" Or something else we should look at?
The Golden Bear likes "Drink And You'll Feel Fucking Great" because The Golden Bear wrote it. I also don't think it's plagiarism, because I don't believe in plagiarism. I think the Gospel of Tom Cruise is very good. TTB has a story that is not on the internet, but it is very good. A lot of what we write we haven't posted yet. I have a story about the Chris Benoit murder-suicides that we haven't done anything with. "Tidal" is forthcoming from Mike Bushnell. So really, just stay tuned good stuff will be coming. The Jaguar Uprising may be goofy and somewhat lazy, but we have talent, and we are coming for the belts.
I will ask one more question to conclude this interview. First I want to thank you for your candor and ask to be spared as well during this siege. Who is the greatest wrestler of all time?
Holy fucking shit Mike from farside. You're not messing around, huh? You just went straight for the jugular. I don't know if I can answer this question. How would I pick. Technical skill? In-ring ability? Mic-skills? Charisma? Athleticism? General craziness? How bout I give you a list?
In no particular order:
'The Nature Boy' Ric Flair, 'The American Dream' Dusty Rhoads, Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior, 'The Million Dollar Man' Ted Debiase, Santino Marella, Bret 'The Hitman' Hart, The Undertaker, Jake 'The Snake' Roberts, 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin, The Rock, Curry Man, Kurt Angle, 'The Heartbreak Kid' Shawn Michaels, Vince McMahon, Mick Foley, Sabu, Kane, Murdoch, Jim Morrison 'the shaman of sexy', DX, NwO, The Ministry, The Corporation, The Corporate Ministry, Christian Cage, Edge, Itchweed, Memphis, Jerry 'The King' Lawler, Sting (kinda), The Nation of Domination, JBL, John Cena, Triple H, Umaga, William Regal, Tom Cruise, Tatanka, Doink, Hornswaggle, Chris Benoit, Ken Kennedy, Carlito (kinda), Jim 'the anvil' Niedhart, Ken Shamrock, The Big Bossman, Latino Heeeat, Owen Hart, D'lo Brown, Gangrel, Meat, Al Snow, The Goodfather, The Godfather, Savio Vega, Val Venis, Gillberg, Bob Holly, Steve Blackman, George 'the animal' Steele, Mosh and Thrasher, The Legion of Doom, Mantaur, 'rowdy' Roddy Piper, Dean Malenko, Too Sexy and Too Hot, Curt Hennig, Macho Man, Disco Inferno, Booker T, La Parka, 'the loose cannon' Brian Pillman, Papa Shango, The Shockmaster, Dino Bravo, Honky Tonk Man, I.R.S., 'nature boy' Buddy Rogers, Dynamite Kid, King Kong Bundy, Killer Kowalski, Sycho Sid, Ax and Smash, Balls Mahoney, the Von Erichs, Mike Tyson, Bobby 'the brain' Hennan, Taz, 'cowboy' bob orton, Awesome Kong, Super Crazy, Festus, Hillbilly Jim, Bam Bam Bigelow
Thanks for the interview Mike from Farside. I love you.
-The Golden Bear!
(...thegoldenbear!)
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